worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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