Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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