let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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