as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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