um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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