dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
