I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
