direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
