Say something about gay babies.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize