You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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