So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize