I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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