so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
