I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
