lets start a swedish sibling band together
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
