White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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