I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
