I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
