oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
