I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
