I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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