I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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