A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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