those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
