how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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