Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
