Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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