all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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