what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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