Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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