You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
