I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I deserve this hangover.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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