I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
