no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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