I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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