just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Mom said you looked used
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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