no you cant smoke seaweed
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
