She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
