If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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