I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
