I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I AM VODKA MAN
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
