I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
