Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ladies don't puke and tell
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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