you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize