ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
