Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
