i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wear drunk well.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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