so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I looked at my own cervix.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
tell me about the eggs
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