I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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