So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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