I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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