The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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