I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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