Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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