the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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