"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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