Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

He is such a slut. More and more my type.

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(757): View more from Virginia

my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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(512): View more from Texas

You're like the curious george of whores

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(805): View more from California

You are such a cockblock sometimes

(661): View more from California

You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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(503): View more from Oregon

So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?

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(805): View more from California

I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking

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(619): View more from California

Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.

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