Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
