I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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