We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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