You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
